Obstructed View

Hey there NC Stage folks! I've got a guest posting this week while I work on opening our run of Stones In His Pockets (See earlier post for the countdown clock) over at the Diana Wortham Theatre. Before I get to our guest, though, just a few things happening at NC Stage. First, our run of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead closed this past Sunday. Thanks to everyone who attended and made up the great crowds that saw this show. Our next Catalyst show is coming up with Lylas sketch comedy. And we're just getting started on scheduling production meetings for A Number by Caryl Churchill. I will be in this one with my good friend Ron Bashford directing.

That's what's going on over at the theatre. That plus a lot of fundraising, grant writing and reporting, etc.

Now on to our guest. Jamie is a tremendous asset to Asheville. She's a teacher and also performs in a lot of theatre around town. We at NC Stage are very grateful for her service as a volunteer. She is there almost as much as Angie and I are!

So here she is and I'll see you next week.


Obstructed View, by Jamie Shell

I usher a lot in and around town, and you can too! It’s a great way to see a ton of theatre without breaking your wallet, though you may have to make the initial investment of white top and black trousers. Anyway, since I do spend a lot of time at several different theatres, I have had the opportunity to note and pass sometimes irrational judgment on the various--and, yet, oh-so-similar--behaviors of theatre patrons. I shall now use my gathered wisdom to make general suggestions to make everyone’s theatre experience a happy one. As I am also a teacher, I will try to state these in the form of positive “do”s rather than negative “don’t”s.

Do! Arrive on time. Arriving on time is so awesome! Arriving on time with extra time to go potty before the play if you tend to need to do so is even better! Arriving with enough time to pick up your tickets AND go to the potty before the curtain speech is planned, should you need to do both of those things, is best of all! Yay punctuality!

Do! Notice quietly and only in your head that, based on their theatre-issued badges, all the ushers appeared to be named Usher! (Like the R&B singer!) Noticing this aloud to the usher is the social equivalent of, like, when someone named Rhonda introduces themselves, and you begin to sing the Beach Boys song that is her namesake. Don’t be That Guy. Oops, no “don’ts”. Do be someone other than That Guy.

Do! Double-check that your mobile communication device is silenced, even if you’re absolutely 100% sure that you turned it off before you got to the theatre. Seriously. I even accidentally left my ringer on once when I was proctoring the SATs. The horror. So, shit happens, but try to let it happen outside of the theatre when people won’t want to shank you for suddenly underscoring The Grapes of Wrath with “My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard.”

Do! Laugh, cry, and gasp in response to the events of the show (as appropriate and as the spirit moves you). Do also remember the size of the theatre you're in, and adjust other noises/chatter accordingly. Although someone crying out, "It's midnight!" in the middle of a production of Rodgers' and Hammerstein's Cinderella has provided me with part of a fun anecdote for several years now, it can be a bit distracting to the actors if they're close enough to hear what you're saying, and it can be a bit distracting to your fellow audience members if you're not at Amateur Nite at The Apollo.

Do! Clean up after yourselves when you leave! Find an usher and give him or her your program to recycle, or find a pile of similarly purposed playbills and add yours to the stack. If the theatre permits you to bring in food or drink, it typically does so with the hope that the food and drink will not still be there once you are gone. Also, remember: just because a surface is concave, it is not automatically a waste receptacle.

Do! Offer sincere compliments to people involved in the show if you enjoyed yourself. Sure a lot of actors are notorious for not needing egos any more swollen, but many more truly appreciate the feedback and affirmation and are humbly grateful to receive it. Furthermore, if you are one of the people involved in the show, do wait for people to give said feedback of their own volition, or do ask them their opinion only if you truly desire it, no matter what it may be. And do allow your tone and the wording of your question to connote that desire. Same goes for Audience-Member-With-Friend-or-Otherwise-Vested-Interest-in-Show asking Unassuming-Audience-Member-Who-Doesn't-Want-to-be-an-A-hole: "Didn't you love it?????" This is not a neutral question and will typically not garner a truthful response. If you do not like truthful responses, then ignore all of the above.

Do! Find out a little about the show you're going to see if you know you're offended by, well, anything. I was just in a show with numerous walk-outs that needn't have happened if people had taken a few minutes to Wikipeducate themselves beforehand. Walk-outs are kind of fun, but people who really do want to see the show getting to do so and staying the whole time is even fun...ner.

Do! See lots of theatre! I know we all get caught up in our own shows but our own shows can't happen if we neglect to go out and see everyone else's. Support your friends! See your enemies and mock them afterwards! Whatever! Enjoy!